Therapy for Teens

Being a teenager is hard!

When I was a teenager, I remember being told that “these are the best years of your life.” I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t believe it now.

There are so many important “firsts” for teens: falling in love, driving, getting a job, and going through a real break-up.

This is often a tumultuous time for teens AND parents.

So many things can add to the pressure of being a teen…

Growing up is hard enough. But other challenges can make the teenage years especially difficult, like experiencing bullying or rejection from a peer group, having learning or attention problems that affect self-esteem, or putting too much pressure on themselves to achieve or be perfect.

In addition to these challenges, teens may face other hardships, such as losing someone close, moving, changing schools, or going through something traumatic.

Any of these struggles can lead to overwhelming distress, such as:

• Feeling disconnected, sad, or hopeless about the future, or isolating themselves from others
• Confusion about who they are and trying to figure out their place in the world
• Being consumed with self-doubt, worry, or fears of being rejected
• Feeling angry or resentful and taking it out on everyone in the family
• Becoming tense and stressed out about school, extracurriculars, and decisions about their future
• Losing interest in school or falling behind in their academics

A lonely and confusing time…

When teens are struggling with these types of challenges, they can feel all alone. They rarely want to let others know how much they are struggling inside. They can experience emotional extremes and feel especially sensitive to others’ perceptions.

They feel confused about all the changes they are going through, physically and emotionally. They seldom know how to cope with their challenges. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness, and it can be hard for them to imagine anything different beyond what they are experiencing in the here and now.

Here’s how therapy can help your teen…

First, I take a teen-friendly approach. Some teens readily talk about their feelings, but many do not. It’s awkward to talk to a therapist, especially at first. I meet teens where they are and get to know them on their terms. That means we might draw, play games, or listen to music. We can often get to the heart of the matter more quickly this way.

I help teens navigate all of their “firsts”…

… whether they are moving into the firsts “full speed ahead” or shying away from them.

Some teens are eager to dive in quickly to new experiences. Therapy can help them hit the pause button and take some time to reflect on their choices. It can also help them figure out whether they’ve been engaging in behaviors outside of their comfort zone for the sake of peer acceptance.

Teens who shy away from essential experiences may need help to discover what’s holding them back. I can help them manage their anxiety, counter negative thinking patterns, or build their confidence.

I give teens a space to process their emotional ups and downs.

Emotions can come on strong, and sometimes they get acted out instead of talked out. I can help teens learn to express their emotions in words. It’s often difficult for young people to do this.

Sometimes surface-level feelings are covering up deeper level feelings. For example, a teen might hide feelings of sadness with anger because it makes him feel too vulnerable inside.

I help teens recognize that being vulnerable doesn’t make them weak. Therapy can also help them connect the dots between the sources of their distress and their behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. That way, they can feel more in control of themselves and less like they are on a roller coaster ride.

I help teens learn to accept their feelings, instead of pushing them away, and find healthy ways to cope with them. When teens can recognize and tolerate difficult emotions, they are less likely to turn to unhealthy escapes from their feelings.

I help teens explore who they are and their goals for their future.

It’s normal for teens to question their identity and ask, “Who am I?” – but it can feel so burdensome inside. It’s hard to sort out influences from family, peers, culture, and the media. I help teens explore these influences and discern what’s most important to them so they can develop a stronger sense of self.

Teens can also struggle with tough decisions, like what they want to do after high school or where they want to go to college. By encouraging personal exploration, I can help them figure out their best course of action.

Your teen will learn to cope with their struggles.

Teens are still learning how to cope with their struggles, and they need ways to handle them effectively. I help with practical skills, like learning how to handle conflicts with others in healthy ways and problem-solving through troublesome issues.

I also help teens learn ways to express and cope with hard feelings appropriately. For example, I might encourage journal writing, confiding in friends or family, or using art or music.

I also help teens find healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety, including mindfulness-based approaches. Everyone needs healthy ways to cope with life’s challenges.

Therapy can also help ease tension with parents.

Although I’m not a family therapist, teens in therapy can learn healthy ways to express their feelings with family members. I can also help them understand how negative perceptions of themselves can affect their relationships, leading them to pull away from, blame, or criticize others.

When teens gain better self-understanding, they can feel more connected in all their relationships – even with parents.

I also partner with parents to support their teen’s development. We can set aside times to meet to address parenting questions and discuss your child’s progress with therapy. Your involvement is key to their success!